Milking the Prostate

I always get sucked in to stupid movies when they come on TV. I avoided it, for the most part today, by sleeping. I stopped off at the boyfriend's house, and Road Trip was on. How long has it been since you saw that? Unless you caught it on TV today, it's probably been a while. Anyway, it's a pretty stupid but hilarious movie that always captures my attention. I don't know what it is about stupid movies that you get sucked in to every time they come on TV. My friend said his movie is Blue Chips, and I am always sucked in by The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I was just sucked into that on TBS, I think, the other night. Terrible, pointless movies, but I can't turn away. No matter how tired I am, I HAVE to watch the stupid movie.

In other news, I actually have a couple of comments! Made my day! I can't believe I have garnered some interest in my blog! I really only talk about stupid crap, but, if you have a minute, take a look at the comments, and check those blogs out! I have. I would describe them, but I feel like if I do, it wouldn't come off as genuine, since I don't know you personally and I would probably be totally wrong. "This is about you and your boyfriend?" "My boyfriend and I broke up today, you stupid bitch!" "AAHHHH! Don't virtually slap me!" So anyway, check-check-check them out, ya'll!

I had the amazing kind of sleep last night. I haven't had it in so long. You know, the kind where you drift off naturally, without trying to fight it and my phone rang at 4am this morning. What the motherfuck, dude? I have NO problem with waking up, or being a "morning person"or whatever, but 4am? Did your fucking rooster crow too early? Anyway, it was a babbling friend of mine. She called to tell me the following:

• She couldn't sleep.
• Thanks for the info, dipshit. I was, too, when the fucking phone rang. What a coincidence.
• I didn't answer her text messages, and she got worried.
• Seriously? What, did you think I was tied up in a trunk, with my phone behind my back, and my phone ringing was the only thing I was waiting on? Because the only button I could recognize on my phone behind my back is the "talk" button?
• On a side note, the button doesn't say "talk" anymore, does it? It's a green phone. But you can't say phone, because the "end" button is now a red phone. If I say "the green button", my post doesn't flow as well.
• I am spending too much time thinking this out
• Her ex is a prick.
• Stop talking to him. Every one's ex is a prick, and if they're not, then it was probably your folly that ended the relationship in the first place. Unless you're seriously friends, and your friendship has nothing to do with the relationship you previously had, get the hell off your phone. You're wasting three people's time at this point.
• She's gaining weight.
• Try dieting. I know you've never had to do it before, but you're having the problem now, so fix it just like everyone else does. Diet, exercise, and shut up.
  
• She's getting sleepy now.
• Go fuck yourself.

I finally got back to sleep around 5:30, and I woke again to the sound of a text message around 7am. It said, and I quote "Thx 4 ur er!" I returned the text with this "Shut up. It's still early. Go to sleep or leave me the hell alone. Also, we're in our mid-twenties. If you're going to text, text in English." I turned off the phone and I slept in bliss until 11am. When I woke up and started it up, it had no messages from her. Oh, well. Who needs friends who wake you up at 4am for nothing? Not this guy.